Don’t you just love conflicts? Who doesn’t like a good fight? “I’ll show them, wait till I get my hands on them. I’ll tell them what I truly think!” Hold on, maybe we should let that go right? My wife and I have been involved in ministry for a long time. We have seen the good, bad, and ugly. Unfortunately even in Church settings. We cry, “Can’t we all just get along?
Acts 15:35-40 (NKJV)
35 Paul and Barnabas also remained in Antioch, teaching and preaching the word of the Lord, with many others also. 36 Then after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us now go back and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they are doing.” 37 Now Barnabas was determined to take with them John called Mark. 38 But Paul insisted that they should not take with them the one who had departed from them in Pamphylia, and had not gone with them to the work. 39 Then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another. And so Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus; 40 but Paul chose Silas and departed, being commended by the brethren to the grace of God.
The Holy Spirit is so good. He led Doctor Luke to write about conflict. Two men of God in a sharp dispute over Mark their fellow brother. The hard reality is that conflicts happen. No one is exempt. 39 Then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another. And so Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus; So Paul and Silas went one way and Barnabas and Mark went another way. In the process God’s will was uninterrupted. Paul and Barnabas loved God, they were committed to preaching the Gospel even in the middle of a dispute. I’m sure Mark was hurt a little by Paul’s rejection. But he continued with Barnabas. He didn’t let his feelings get in the way of God’s purpose. I think Barnabas was good for Mark. The Bible calls Barnabas, the Son of encouragement. Mark sure needed that in his life at that moment after the great Apostle Paul rejected him. Rejection is hard to deal with at times. We can’t let it keep us from moving forward. Many of the prophets of old were rejected, and Jesus was rejected. Yet they continued on it what God had called them to do.
How do you handle conflict? Will you be part of the solution or part of the problem? 1 Peter 3:10-11 (NKJV)-10 For “He who would love life And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips from speaking deceit.11 Let him turn away from evil and do good; Let him seek peace and pursue it. Here we have Apostle Peter exhorting us what to do. If you want to love life and see good days- Say and do the right thing. Pursue peace and reconciliation if at all possible. Many times we give up too soon. It’s just easy to avoid conflicts. We allow our hurts, and offenses to get the best of us, and we shut ourselves away. We get angry and disappointed with people, Churches, leadership, or family members. We expect so much at times to our own hurt. Yet it is possible to grow through conflicts! There was a time when a pastor reamed me out for my so-called failure with youth ministry. I was deeply hurt but I stayed with it and I didn’t give up even though I thought about leaving the Church. I wouldn’t allow resentment, bitterness, or unforgiveness to determine the course of my life and what God had for me.
We are not sure why Mark departed when he did before their new missionary journey. It upset the Apostle Paul for some reason. Here is the good news found in 2 Timothy 4:10-11 (NKJV)-10 for Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world, and has departed for Thessalonica–Crescens for Galatia, Titus for Dalmatia.11 Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry. At some point, Paul’s attitude changed towards Mark. Get Mark and bring him to me. He saw value in Mark. Not willing to hold his past against him. Can we be more forgiving? Can we be more understanding and more accepting? Is it always about us and what we want? Apostle Paul had some great advice talking about genuine Christian love. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 (AMP)-7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].
Conflict can be a turning point. A turn towards giving the devil an advantage over our lives or turning to Christ who can bring restoration and healing. In times of disappointment, conflicts, and disagreement it’s not a time to make important life changes. Sometimes we need to stay put and pray through the situation. God, what do you want during this conflict? How should I respond? Sure it’s easy to avoid the situation altogether. My wife and I pastored for many years we have seen people come and go. Some left for the right reason, and many didn’t. I think God wants us to work things through the best that we can in faith. To walk in love and seek the heart of God in the matter. To pursue peace. They say diamonds are made through pressure. “He gives us beauty for ashes”- God can turn things around in situations and relationships if we are willing to see it through and not run. There are times when it doesn’t happen and that’s sad. Why? because it takes two to agree and work it out. People are hurt, stubborn, and refuse to listen. Yet we are not exempt from doing our part. To pursue peace and walk in love. Here is some more great advice.
Matthew 5:23-25 (NKJV)-23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.25 Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison.
2 Peter 1:5-10 (NKJV)-5 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge,6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness,7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.9 For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins.10 Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble;
Remember in conflict-you could be wrong in how you see things. You need to see both sides and God’s side. Are you willing to let go of your feelings and do the right thing? Will you add to your faith brotherly love and kindness? Don’t be shortsighted and blinded by bitterness, unforgiveness, or disappointment. That only spells a spiritual prison. You have locked yourself up behind bars. Your mind is held in captivity. Your joy and peace were held prisoner as well. The Bible tells us to be diligent in adding the right things to our lives. It is our responsibility. Then you won’t live with regrets. Do it with God’s grace, do it with His strength. Do it with God’s love. Then you will not be barren, unfruitful, or stumble. Remember there is nobody perfect except the Christ in you. He perfectly loves and forgives. Conflicts happen but you can grow through them.
In Christ’s love;
Brent and Linda
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