In my early days before knowing Christ, and in my years of walking with Him, I struggled with anger. I remember pounding my fist through a wall many times or breaking something in the heat of anger. I stuffed my feelings, and eventually they came out. I loved to play tennis. I can’t tell you how many times I broke my tennis racket after losing a game. My Dad was so gracious in helping me buy another one. It got expensive. Things would build up over time, and then an explosion of anger would occur. I would break things that were important to me. It was a form of self-punishment or even self-hate for my bad behavior. I must hurt myself, I thought. The guilt and shame at times were horrible! I noticed that when dealing with sin in my life, I was more prone to fits of anger. Anger is a strong emotion. It is the works and deeds of the carnal nature, the flesh ( Gal 5:20). The King James Bible calls it wrath. The English Standard Version calls it fits of anger. We can see that in people today and in our culture. There is more hate, violence, rage, and anger. People driving with road rage are angry and aggressive. The “Karens” who are angrily policing our every move. (I’m not sure why or where that name came from.)How many marriages, families, and friendships have been destroyed over anger, resentment, and offenses? The truth is, God gave us feelings and emotions, and we must learn to navigate them rightly. So the scripture in Ephesians was confusing to me at first. Ephesians 4:26-27 (NKJV)-26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,27 nor give place to the devil.
We saw Jesus get angry as He made a whip and cleansed the temple( John 2:13-17). It was a righteous anger, which is a good anger. An anger against unrighteousness and injustice is a good anger. Let us not turn our anger into something destructive and harmful, where we hurt ourselves or other people. A righteous anger that isn’t passive or compromising on principles and morals. A righteous anger that motivates us to take appropriate and positive action to change things for the better. This can be done through voting, lobbying, supporting a righteous cause, etc. It can be done through preaching and teaching the Bible. A righteous anger that doesn’t go to sleep. We need to be angry at the Devil, who wants to steal, kill, and destroy things in our lives. Several times, Jesus groaned in the spirit(John 11:33, John 11:38). The words groan and groaning in the Greek mean indignation, painfully moved. In context, it was about the death of his friend, Lazarus. Death is an enemy of God(1Cor. 15:26); Jesus is the resurrection and the life. This groaning in the spirit brought Lazarus back from the dead.
We can discern that there is good and bad anger! There is a kind of anger where depression turns inward. The feelings of the pressures of life, offenses, unhealthy stress, inner turmoil, wrong expectations, low self-esteem or worth, overwhelming disappointment, things we can’t control, can bring out the wrong emotion of destructive anger. There is a passive anger, a quiet in the storm until it explodes. If something doesn’t go our way or something we can’t fix, control, or explain, it is grounds or triggers for anger! Negative, sinful, and out-of-control feelings and emotions can affect our physical bodies in unhealthy ways.( Prov. 12:25, Psalm 31:10, Psalm 38:3) Unresolved anger, anger not dealt with, can lead to emotional distress. It greatly helps to ask God the question, “Why am I so angry?” The Holy Spirit will lead us into truth. A merry heart does good like a medicine.”( Prov. 17:22).
The Bible has a lot to say about anger: Genesis 4:4-8 (NKJV)-4 Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the LORD respected Abel and his offering,
5 but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell.6 So the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen?7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”8 Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him. Here is the first family dealing with anger. Two brothers, one against the other. One gives a good and acceptable offering, the other does not. One of faith, one of works. God saw that Cain was very angry. It showed in his face! He was depressed, and his anger led to his horrible actions. He ended up killing his brother. Jealousy, envy, and resentment stirred up anger. Negative and impassioned emotional thoughts lead to the open door of sin and destruction. Remember, in Ephesians, it tells us to give no place to the devil( Eph. 4:27). God tells Cain If you do well, your behavior will be acceptable. If you don’t, this anger will rule over you like an animal crouching and lurking at the door or gate of your life. It is out to get you! Ready to pounce on you! God tells Cain that he should rule or master it. We cannot be slaves and held in bondage to wrong anger( Rom. 6:16). Cain made the wrong choice. God tells us that we can overcome this type of anger, and it begins with our thought life and how we handle pressure. Galatians 5:16 (AMP)-16 But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God) ( Rom 8:5-6). The destructive, hurtful anger is of our carnal nature, the flesh. If we walk in the Spirit, which is to walk in the love of God, to walk in forgiveness, to walk in the Word of God, we won’t give way to that type of anger.
I wish I could take back things I did and said because of wrong and uncontrolled anger over the years, along with the consequences that came. Thank God for repentance and forgiveness! ( 1 John 1:9) Learning to harness our emotions with the Word of God, the Holy Spirit, and a spirit-filled life needs to be an everyday thing. Here are some scriptures on anger:
- Proverbs 14:29 (TLB)-29 A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes.
- Proverbs 15:1 (NKJV)-1 A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
- Proverbs 16:32 (NKJV)-32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
- Proverbs 19:11 (NKJV)-11 The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression.
- Proverbs 22:24 (TLB)-24 Keep away from angry, short-tempered men, lest you learn to be like them and endanger your soul.
- Proverbs 29:11 (AMP)-11 A [self-confident] fool utters all his anger, but a wise man holds it back and stills it.
- Psalm 37:8 (NKJV)-8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret–it only causes harm.
- Proverbs 17:27 (NKJV)-27 He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.
- Proverbs 25:28 (NKJV)-28 Whoever has no rule over his own spirit Is like a city broken down, without walls.
- Ephesians 4:31-32 (NKJV)-31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.
- Colossians 3:8-10 (NKJV)-8 But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.9 Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds,10 and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him,
- James 1:19-20 (NKJV)-19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Even God has emotions of anger, and it’s towards injustice and unrighteousness. Because of Jesus and the cross, God is no longer angry with us. That is good news. He loves us unconditionally! He knows our challenge with anger and provides a way of escape when we are tempted to blow off steam. Our flesh wants to master us like a hungry lion, but God gives us the Fruit of the Spirit to counteract it. The Spirit of self-control( Gal. 5:23-24). Learn to release what you have in your Born Again spirit! Do the opposite of anger! Don’t pray for self-control, put it to work! Exercise ourselves towards godliness (1 Tim. 4:8, 1 Cor .6:12, 1 Cor. 9:27). You have it already, and thank God for it. You can master your flesh through walking in the Spirit. A consistent prayer life and journaling are a wonderful way to release pent-up emotions, learning to cast your cares, anxieties, and worries on the Lord( 1 Peter 5:7). We can see this in the life of David in the Psalms. He expressed all ranges of emotions, good and bad. He always ended by affirming the goodness of God, His forgiveness, and His mercy. Bottled-up emotions are grounds for wrong anger. We get angry when we can’t control things or people. God never called us to do that. He called us to self-control and to walk in love. When we don’t love ourselves, when we are condemning and critical of ourselves, wrong anger is at the door. When we are trying to be perfect and not disappoint people, wanting to be right, wrong anger is at the door.
In closing, it is so wonderful that Jesus took all our hurts, pain, imperfections, injustice, and wrath and gave us a new heart and a new spirit ( Ezk. 36:26). That He has given us His righteousness( 2Cor. 5:21). That He has poured His love into our hearts(Rom. 5:5). Thank God we don’t have to be like we used to be. We are a new creation in Christ Jesus( 2 Cor. 5:17). We are loved by our Father in heaven. He loves you and me and is pleased with us. We need to take a deep breath, count to ten, and pray before we fly off the handle. We can rule and master wrong anger and not lose our temper. God said we can. He gives us the strength and grace to do so! Learning and meditating on scriptures dealing with love and anger can help us to overcome( 1 Cor. 13:4-8, Eph. 4:31-32). Praying in the Spirit helps us to stay in the sphere of God’s love(Jude 20-21). Having a thankful heart always brings a better attitude( Psalm 100:4). Instead of the door of anger, enter the door of thanksgiving. These are positive ways of overcoming anger. God wants us to walk in peace, the “shalom” of God, perfect peace when our mind is focused and stayed upon Him( Isaiah 26:3, Rom. 12:18, John 14:27, Rom. 14:17 ) because we are trusting Him. Let us be angry about the right things and exercise self-control over wrong, destructive, and harmful anger. Let us not put the caboose of feelings and emotions at the front of the train. It just spells a train wreck.
In Christ’s love;
Brent and Linda Bushen
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